Hospitality - what does it mean and feel like to you?
Your answer is likely simple and very layered
Hospitality. The hospitality industry. Service versus hospitality. This is all very fluent for me but what does it actually mean?
The notion of hospitality has been hot and center lately. A lot of big corporate businesses are hiring people to fill hospitality roles to bring more care and unique experiences to the employees and / or tenants. And of course, they recruit from the pool of professionals that have worked in hotels, restaurants and, well, the hospitality industry.
Let me take a step back and get to defining hospitality. Per Mariam dictionary, it is defined as “generous and friendly treatment of visitors and guests”. This is a pretty direct definition and the trust about hospitality is it is very layered and very personalized. I define hospitality as “showing up for yourself first so you can show up for others”.
The thing about being hospitable to someone or giving someone exceptional hospitality is that it requires you to understand that every person has their own needs, wants and experience. We cannot take care of others in the way we want to be cared for. That’s why showing yourself hospitality first is so important before you can curate a memorable experience for someone else. Most of the time, the really small touches make the biggest difference and impact on someone’s day.
Before we go any further down the path of how to create and deliver such impactful touches to those on our teams and those joining us as guests - we need to define what hospitality means to you as an individual.
Answer this simple yet likely layered question:
What does hospitality mean to you?
Don’t be short handed with the answer.
How does it make you feel?
What senses does it activate?
What words do you always use when you think about hospitality?
Maybe think of the last time someone showed you hospitality to help you define it.
How do you show or deliver such attentive hospitality to someone though? Active listening and curiosity. Period.
You cannot assume that you know what someone may love or what may make their day. You have to ask questions to curate the space, sensory experience or conversation to make them feel truly cared for.
Listen acutely. Hear what they are repeating over and over. This usually means that it’s important to them. And if the team member or guest isn’t giving you enough information to go off of, ask more prompting questions to get clarity on what they are articulating. You want to get a somatic / non verbal reaction from someone. This is when you know they are telling you the true deeply rooted in what lights them up or turns them off.
Since this is an article about tangible evidence - here is an example that I just had the opportunity to live.
I recently traveled to Anguilla to support a resort’s re-opening. My business partner and I put together an enhanced training program from what previously was used. We had very little time to make a big impact and it took a lot of very directed questions and curiosity to understand what the current baseline of education was from everyone on the team in all 3 outlets. But this example isn’t about the training experience. It’s about the hospitality that I received prior to my arrival on property. What is important to note to this story, is the resort WAS NOT open yet and the team was full plate with getting it set up after being closed up during hurricane season. I arrived on property 4 days prior to opening so I truly expected very little attention to my needs or a carefully curated experience since I wasn’t the priority. But what I received was the complete opposite of this. After a long day of travel and a delayed ferry, I arrived on property with only 20min to caffeinate, shower and get energized to lead my first training session.
My business partner let me know she’d be there to greet me and show me to my room. I got much more than that - which was all I needed. But what unfolded next still brings a smile to my face and I will share this story for years to come.
The guest experience manager and 4 other team members were waiting with the warmest smiles when I pulled up. The newest bellman team member took my bag while the guest experience manager walked me to my room. I felt so bad because I knew they were so busy and I truly didn’t want to take up any of their precious time. I soon realized that by not allowing them to show me the property and make me feel comfortable, I was taking away from the curated care and hospitality they pride themselves in giving to ANYONE that steps foot onto the property. I leaned in, slowed down and received. The appreciation I saw in their faces when I released control was powerful.
My two requests that I made very clear to my partner was that I’d need coffee and sparkling water in order to wake up and be functional. Just a few moments after I was shown into my room, the in room dining attendant showed up with a FULL tray of sparkling waters, all cold, sweating from the walk over from the main building. My heart exploded! But there’s more. My partner got my coffee started on the Nespresso machine while there was a knock on the door as I was getting a quick and efficient door to my room and its amenities. It was the F&B director of the resort to welcome me on property with a bottle of cold sparkling water in hand and a wine to be able to open it immediately. I nearly cried.
It’s these really small necessities and care that make the biggest difference. I was truly honored that they trusted me and my business partner to support them in training their F&B teams. But I knew that I’d be learning so much more from them - I was reminded what hospitality feels like and how so many of us have it sown into the core of who we are. Imagine how much magique you can create from there!
Hospitality is showing up for yourself first so you can show up for others.
And listening acutely, quietly, and with curiosity. From there, you have all the info you need to create something beautiful and impactful.
For more insights on what hospitality means and how to bring it to your teams (hospitality businesses or not) and your guests, tune into my guest appearance on Transformative Leadership Conversations Podcast with Winnie da Silva.
Curiosity and allowing ourselves to receive hospitality are always such a work in progress for those of us used to providing it for others. Great read.