I'm very literal
how I learnt how to embrace it and express my needs for communication around it
When I was really young, around 5 years old, I used to drink Perrier with a slice of lemon first thing in the morning. The bubbles woke me up and until my late twenties, that was my “coffee”. On the bottle of Perrier - it said “bottled at the source.” I never questioned it further - it said bottled at the source so my 6 year old brain was like oh that’s cool - the water comes out of the source with bubbles - that must be a really special stream! I grew up during my summers in France and the mountains there and I always wondered where these sparkling water sources were and wished I’d come across one one day - but never asked anything further because I am very literal and I believe everything at face value.
Fast forward 30 years - I learnt that the sparkling water that I still drink to this day does not get bottled from the source with bubbles - that C02 is added to it to make it carbonated! I kid you not - the day I learnt this I felt slightly embarrassed and then I immediately giggled and said to myself “of course - I’m so literal - of course I believed what was written on the bottle without digging any deeper for the reason of the bubbles in my favorite water.” I then confessed this truth to a dear friend a few weeks later and she giggled and then said, “Kim, how have you made it through your entire career in hospitality without someone telling you that sparkling water is spring water + C02?” It’s now one of my favorite stories to share not so I can poke fun at myself, but so I can openly own how literal I am.
What I have learnt about myself through understanding how literal I am is that I need to communicate very directly with people that I believe everything they say at face value, unless I can read in their body language or voice that they are joking or being dishonest. It feels so vulnerable to share this off the bat and I have to. I’ve been hurt many times because when someone may be joking or being sarcastic about something, I take it seriously and to heart. Which means I’ve wasted time on assignments or projects before because I listened and then acted on it. This never felt good.
Understanding your and others’ language is crucial to establishing communication bridges and trust within a team. Assumptions that we all understand when one is kidding around is hurtful and unkind. It creates that sticky and prickly energy that is so hard to recover from.
If you feel seen by reading this - you’re not alone - there are many of us are walk this path of taking everything literally.
Below are few tools that have helped me better self regulate and to communicate to others - they could help you or pass this article along to someone in your life who is literal - this may help them.
Own it and celebrate how honest and literal you are!
I love this trait about myself and I have let go of all of the fear around it. I am not gullible, I simply take everything as it’s shared with me.
Take a moment to process information so I can actively listen to what someone is telling me and understand if they are serious or just throwing words out there.
Ask questions to confirm what are next action steps.
Ask someone if they are being serious if you can’t get a read on what they are sharing with you
Research - if you aren’t convinced someone was giving you facts, research. The information is always at our fingertips.
Find a trusted person that you can safely turn to and share your “literal moments” so you can have a giggle!
Last week I realized that for my entire career - I thought a “standing meeting” was a meeting we have standing up and I never understood why my GM would have us sitting during our “standing meeting”...I just put it together that this expression meant it was recurring at the same time and day. I’ll leave you with that :)