I’ve been in a leadership role for over 2 decades but when I really get honest with myself, I’ve been a leader almost my entire life. I dance to the beat of my own music - my heart and soul. When someone has tried to tell me to do something in a way that feels super misaligned, I listen, I observe and then I decide very consciously to adapt to the path that feels most comfortable for me. Friends, colleagues and family have told me this about myself my entire life, but I think I never truly saw it within myself until today.
Living through losing and now grieving my father is life changing. It’s one of the biggest learning moments of my life. In each interaction, feeling and moment that I experience, I take a step back. I process and learn from it.
In this new chapter of life, I’m learning even more loudly who I am as a leader and I have to say, hot damn am I proud of the leader I am today and the one I know I’m continuing to evolve into.
I tune in and observe even more attentively than I did before. It may be harder for me at times right now because I’m so depleted energetically and it can be challenging for me to focus depending on what I’m navigating emotionally in each moment. But, I am committed to it and I remember, it’s ok to ask someone to repeat if I didn’t catch what they said.
I spend more time asking “why?” or “can you elaborate on what you mean by that?” I want to know what the students, clients, or anyone I’m speaking with is sharing with me. I have accepted that I create safety energetically for most to open up with me. I don’t take it for granted and I know this is one of my superpowers.
I have also learnt that crying in front of anyone is ok. I am a highly emotionally sensitive person and leader.
My heart is always raw and cracked open - I thank my curiosity and love for people for this. I also thank my father for teaching me how to love unconditionally and sharing this gift with me. And this comes with feeling deeply and needing to release it.
For me, that’s crying. I cry a lot. For a lot of reasons. I can be happy, sad, excited, overwhelmed or grateful - I cry. I used to only cry in my car, in a place by myself or around family and friends that I feel safe with. But now, I cry all the time - because I can’t keep it in. What I have observed is when I try to keep the tears in, I hit a level of anxiety that is almost debilitating and the recovery is that much harder. So now, I just let it out. I don’t apologize for it - I just cry and breathe through it until I can think, speak, and continue to lead.
Whenever these moments hit, especially when I’m in front of a class or clients, I observe their body language and reaction. I have to say, it’s beautiful.
It makes some awfully uncomfortable, others send me this big compassionate energy, others just sit quietly and hold space for me until I get to the other side and don’t ask questions. Being vulnerable and showing those in my community how raw and emotional I am has built a foundation of trust and kindness that I didn’t know would be possible. Truly. It has created a bridge for honest conversations, safe moments for coaching and powerful moments of building a culture and learning space founded in trust, honesty and vulnerability.
If you are leading and feeling an overwhelm of emotions, for whatever the root is, I’m sharing this experience and self case study to let you know it’s ok to cry. And crying may not be your form of release - maybe it’s dancing, screaming, breathing, singing, or something else. Regardless of what it is, it’s ok to do that in front of others, including your colleagues and team.
Leadership does not mean you have to hold in your humanness and show your strength off.
Lead from your heart, lead from your emotions, lead from where you are standing today and remember, that can change in the next moment.
It’s ok to share with your colleagues and team some of the details of what you are navigating and be direct in letting them know how they can support you through this experience or moment. I assure you that they want to help and support you - we are all givers and care takers in this wonderful hospitality industry of ours. So don’t isolate yourself, don’t feel like you’re being too much or too emotional - crack yourself open ever so slightly and show up for yourself so your colleagues can show up for you too.