Radical acceptance welcomes in kindness

Give this gift to yourself in the same speed you to for others

I had a very shiny and clear mirror reflected back to me the other day and I have been thinking about acceptance ever since - radical acceptance to be exact.

You can find reflections just about anywhere - as long as you keep your eyes and mind open.

How often do you find yourself listening to a colleague, team member, guest or anyone in your community sharing something they are navigating that is causing them distress, anxiety or worry? What usually is your first reply to them when they come to you for support?

Does it go a little something like this “Thank you for trusting me to listen. I want to validate your story and it is normal for you to feel this way” ?

I’m going to pause everyone for a moment - this is radical acceptance that you are showing to the person on the receiving end. You are comforting them by listening and simply saying “of course you feel this way”. That feels really nice doesn’t it?!

Let’s flip the script.

We are our harshest critics. Shame can lead to a lot of the stories we tell about ourselves and don’t permit ourselves the same radical acceptance as we do to our peers. But what if you took one baby step to change the narrative from within and show yourself the hospitality that you do to others? What if we weren’t so hard on ourselves and see how that changes the way we lead ourselves, therefore others? Would it be that terrifying to pave the road to a path we haven’t yet traveled but we do it for others?

In an industry where we are in service to others, where our passion for caring and creating safe spaces and beautiful memorable experiences for others - it is easy for anyone in the hospitality industry to get lost and forget their way home back to themself. It requires the same amount of practice, attempts, active listening, compassion and acceptance that we allow to everyone else that crosses our paths. The same generosity that you afford to others, I urge you to give to yourself first. I guarantee the impact to those that are already receiving it will be significantly louder and more generous than it currently is.

Here are a couple practices of radical acceptance towards yourself:

1 - “Of course” - simple yet a game changer. When you are in a moment of self doubt, insecurity, angst, overwhelm - instead of attempting to talk yourself out of it or go to someone else for reassurance - pause. Stop what you are doing for a full minute, listen to your thoughts and then say out loud “of course you feel this way. It would be odd if you didn’t feel this way.” And then pause again. See how you feel and if the intensity has simmered down a bit. And then give yourself a moment to decide how you are going to move forward in baby steps. How are you paving this new path forward for yourself?